In many ways, I find snuggling to be the most fulfilling aspect of intimacy. This article is great, it shows that there are people out there that enjoy and appreciate a good snuggle, and that it doesn’t have to be the pre-cursor (or post-cursor) to sexual activity. I know when I was single and lonely, the thought of having someone to snuggle at night was forefront in my mind, much stronger than the desire for sex. Apparently I was not alone in this desire.

Cheri Speak

I found my Prinze Charming! Well maybe not mine since we’ve never met and I’m probably his Mother’s age, but he did inadvertently make me remember something with his article No Strings Attached Snuggling. Being a single woman, I think snuggling is the thing I miss the most about being in a relationship.

snugglingWhen I was married I insisted on (and got) what I called the “60-second snuggle”. This was the most important part of every single day because it is the very thing that started every day. It may not have kept our divorce at bay, but it did teach us both that stopping to snuggle up for that single minute each morning — before anything else, had the power to change the course of our entire day. Sure we were laying there thinking about how bad we had to pee, but we also allowed our hearts to slow from the…

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Which sense would you chose to lose during lovemaking? A response.

I stumbled upon (not related to StumbleUpon) Prinze Charming’s blog today, and found an interesting article there, The Ultimate Sacrifice for Love; Makes Sense to Deny Participation, wherein the prinze asks, “Which of your five senses would you give up each time you make love to your lover?”

At first I thought that it would be an all-encompassing loss of the sense. If you chose sight, you would never be able to see again, ever. My answer to his question at this point in my understanding was to become a monk, live in a monastery and play video games for the rest of my life.

As I continued to read the article, I believe his intention is that you would only lose the sense while being intimate with your lover.  The thought of a loss of a sense only while being intimate is actually quite exciting… If I had my choice, I would want it to be a random chance of loss of sensation. The only one that I’d see as “too bad” would be the loss of the sense of touch. You’re not too likely to “get anywhere” if you can’t feel things, if you know what I mean.

For many people, the excitement of making love to the same person fades after a while. The excitement of discovering the curves of their body, the places that make them giggle, and the ones that make their hairs stand on end comes to an end after you have found them all, and can draw upon them as you wish. It’s one of the reasons that people cheat, the excitement of discovery is what drives people to do new things, or to do new things to new people.

With the random loss of a sense each time you became intimate with someone, your experience with them would change each time. Perhaps you lost your sight. Each kiss would be a surprise, a touch could come from anywhere and you would never know. The unpredictability of the experience could make things interesting and new each time. As long as it was not a permanent loss that effected my day-to-day life, I’d go for the roulette wheel of sense loss during intimacy.

If that’s “breaking the rules”, and I’m forced to pick one sense to lose every time I make love, I would go with taste. I feel like it’s probably the least important sense during intimacy, but I’m not really the type to involve food during “playtime”. Loss of sight would be a huge impairment, as I am an extremely visual person. Loss of hearing would be almost equally debilitating, sound is the primary method of performance feedback, and is extremely sexy. Touch would probably  be the worst though, without the feedback from your own body, how would you know if you were having a good time? Sure, you’d have the closeness, but you wouldn’t be able to feel it. No breath upon your neck, no wet kisses on your stomach, no pleasurable sensations from love making. Arguably, the loss of touch would impair, for men, your ability to even make love at all; for women, the emotional connection would still be there, but there wouldn’t be the feeling of closeness. I find it very difficult to believe that many people could have meaningful intimacy without the sense of touch. More research should be done on this subject. The sense of smell would not be a huge loss, but it would be noticed. The smell of your lover’s body, perfume or cologne is extremely powerful. Psychologists say that the sense of smell is very closely linked to memory, and that a scent can trigger powerful emotional recall. If you couldn’t smell your lover to help create these memories, there would be a definite loss.

To sum up: I’d either be a  Video game playing, kung fu fighting monk, a sensational(loss) gambler, or a tasteless lover.

Preparation: Finals Week

It’s that time of the year again, Finals. Everyone is writing, preparing, studying for their tests and performances. I, personally, can’t focus on that right now. I look at my notes and formulae and just see things that look easy and not worth going over. God, I hope that means I’m ready for this. It’s either that, or I’m deluding myself, preventing the studying that would be beneficial to my completion of this semester’s excitement.

I write this to try to clear my head of stray thoughts, prime myself for taking the big test in a few short minutes, but I fear that it is not working. Even as I attempt to align my willpower and accomplish this one task, to purge the excess energy from my mind, I am distracted by the sights and sounds around me: The table full of people discussing how badly they’re going to fail American History, the nice-smelling girl who just sat down next to me to finish her research paper or the hum of the florescent bulbs overhead.

None of those are really preventing me from writing. The real problem is the Asian guy listening too loudly to dubstep over his DJ-style headphones. I wonder if anyone else is as annoyed by that as I am. Why does no one say anything to him? Why don’t I say anything to him? Perhaps it’s a breech of the social contract that keeps humans from killing one another just because we can. He’s showing his dominance over those of us here in the library, attempting to keep to ourselves and study for finals. Presumably he is as well, his methodology differing distinctly, forcing us to bask in his auditory power over the silence of the library. If he were an ancient human, in the time before civilization, he might be banging his spear against his shield and shouting violently at the lot of us, deemed weaker in his eyes by our preference for peace. His war chant sounds much like fingernails against a chalkboard set to a heavy beat, one which we cannot help but answer. And the only answer available is conflict! Where are the warriors of our tribe? Why have we not met this challenge? Perhaps they look to me. Should I be the one to silence this threat? Am I to gather my shield and spear to meet this warrior on the field of battle? I am! I will champion my people! This threat to our way of life will be removed by my hand!

Oh. A librarian has caught the sound of his music and has asked him to turn it down. The challenger backs down, faced with a greater foe than he, but today it is not I.

Now it’s time to meet the true challenge. It’s 5 minutes until class starts, the final exam awaits. Perhaps I have a need for my spear and shield after all…

Learned the hard way: Tips for succesful writing

Perhaps this will end up being another series of articles for my blog, which I mostly say since I really only have one tip in mind at the moment. It’s something that I’ve learned about myself, and find it useful as well as frustrating. So here it is

When I write, I find that the first thing I write in any given session tends to be short, disjointed and generally not that great. This is the frustrating part of it. The good news is, once I’ve written whatever it was, I almost always go on to write other things, and they are invariably better than the first one. The advice I’d give here, if you experience the same issue, is to write something unrelated to your important project, and then move on to the main event. It’s a lot like an athlete stretching before her event. If you go in cold, you might not perform as well as you would want or, even worse, get a cramp and be unable to complete your event. It’s the same for writers. We have to prepare, and we all have different ways of doing so, or we could end up with a mental cramp, aka writers block. Anyone who’s had a rough case of that, knows it’s pretty awful.

What to do with those cast-offs? In some cases, it’s out there on the internet, but if you’re stretching your writing abilities before breaking into the real project, you can keep them to yourself, or take a look at them again later. Maybe you wrote something worthwhile, and it just needs a little fine-tuning from your agile, creative mind once it’s really ready to work.

I hope that helps someone. Writing it down has made it more real for me, and hopefully I’ll start practicing what I preach a little bit more.

How do you know when it’s worth writing a blog post?

I’m sitting here, feeling somewhat creative (also bored) and feel like I should be updating this thing. I’m not attempting to mirror my favorite news blogs, otherwise I could post the kajillion cool things I’ve read about today. I’m also not trying to post for the sake of posting, but many writers/bloggers feel the need to post to keep, and grow, their audience.

How do you know when it’s worth writing?

The likely answer is that it’s subjective. Do you have something you want to say? Then say it. Maybe you just feel like ranting, and want to see who agrees or disagrees. Write a post. Maybe, like me, you’re spinning your wheels with what you’re supposed to be doing, so you want to get something done, but don’t really have much to say. Typically, I’d say to just keep it to yourself, but I’m clearly not doing that.

Why am I writing this then? Self-doubt. I’m not doubting my feelings towards those that don’t have anything real to say or how I feel that they should, or more accurately: should not, write unnecessary things just because they can. More so, because I tend to doubt that the things I have to say are relevant or interesting to others. I try to encourage my friends to write about what they know, even if it doesn’t feel exciting to them. If you do a good job, others will appreciate the effort, leave you constructive feedback and everyone is happy all around. I’m trying to practice what I preach in this area, and write anyway.

It feels like rambling at this point, so I’m gonna close it up, but I feel good for having written something, even if it’s only a small grain of wisdom trapped in the sandbox.

Who Would Win?

Have you ever wondered who would win in a fight between two fictional characters? Many people have asked the question, and there have been a few TV shows that have attempted to answer it.

Celebrity Deathmatch Celebrity Deathmatch was one such show. It’s animated antics put two popular celebrities against eachother using claymation. Deadliest Warrior is another similar show. It is still on the air on Spike. It uses computer graphics and  real actors to try to determine who is the deadliest warrior. Instead of celebrities, they look to historic or mythological figures or creatures.

I intend to continue the trend, and will present my own version of this question. “Who Would Win?” will be a semi-regular topic starting soon.

Upcoming Bouts

Those are just a few that I thought of today. I’ll think of others, and check comments for battles that you all would be interested in seeing.

Lessons learned at school this semester

This is my first semester taking “real” classes. I’ve done a few electives and even some transferrable work, but this is the first semester where I took a full courseload of transferrable classes and knocked it out of the park, at least I hope so… grades post later this month.

What did I learn? Here’s the list

1) Math classes are better in class than online. Yes, if you are a math genius or already know how to do it, you can and maybe even should take it online. But if you’re unsure or haven’t taken math in a long time, its best to be on campus. They have a tutoring center, not that it was easy to get in there ever, and your professor is an invaluable resource. Even when it was something as simple as “In what order do we take these exponents?” it’s better to ask in class (or after if you’re self-conscious*) than to be stuck at home, with no assistance at all.

2) Check before selecting a class where you have multiple options. This goes doubly for online classes. You can get stuck with a professor that doesn’t respond to emails or forum posts, and is extremely strict with no way of contacting them when you’re not sure about an assignment. Also, professors are people too, and they have beliefs and agendas. If you’re lucky, they’ll keep it out of the classroom, but that rarely happens. Be sure to find out what their former students think about them, you might find that you wouldn’t want to be stuck with them for 16 weeks.

3) On-campus classes are much easier to prepare for. Yes, you have a lot of deadlines, and yes they are generally at least one a week. Once you get this into your schedule, you may find it a lot easier to accomplish. After all, you have to go to class and turn in your homework or research paper. If you don’t have it, you have to look your professor in the eye and tell them that you couldn’t manage to get it done. Online, there’s no looming figure that’s going to disapprove of your laziness. You just don’t turn it in and collect your zero. Maybe this one is only relevant to some of us who are motivated by disappointment and guilt, but I think it’s a big enough demographic that it’s worth noting.

3a) On campus classes give you more chances to meet and befriend your peers. Even if you’re older and are going back to school after years of working, like I am, you still get to meet interesting people (or kids) and see what views you share. I’ve made judgements about some of my classmates upon meeting them for the first time, only to find out that I was totally wrong after a few weeks of getting to know them better.

3b) If you’re not married or in a relationship, college is an amazing place to meet people. Some study that I’m too lazy to go find now stated that, “4 out of 5 long-lasting relationships begin in college” (unknown). And that statistic is basically made up, but there’s a study out there that says something along those lines. I know that I’ve met some very interesting girls this semester, and if I weren’t married, I would have made sure to include them in my study groups.

Those are the big lessons from this semester. I’m sure there will be more from next semester as well. Keep moving forward, never stop learning, and try to have fun doing so.

* Don’t be self-conscious, you’re paying a lot of money for this education, get the most out of it and screw what everyone else is thinking.**

** The truth is, they’re too scared to raise their hands as well, and are secretly thankful for you asking, because they didn’t know either.***

*** But try not to be the person who asks stupid questions every 15 minutes. We all hate that person by the end of the semester.